My Little Corner

I'm a bit sad. I'm leaving a job that I've grown to love. I'm being transferred to another department, whose function I'm pretty unsure yet if I could handle. I'm leaving this little corner that has been my home away from home for more than a year now...my comfort zone...my place of solace away from my family...
Today is my last day as Risk Manager and Section Head for Credit Evaluation in charge of South Luzon and Binondo Business Centers. I've written my final Credit Analysis Report and presented the last of my accounts to the Credit Risk Evaluation Panel. What's next?
I'm moving to another department called Credit Information Management. I know the basics but the technicalities I've yet to uncover and learn. Maybe, my husband is right in telling me not to be afraid to venture into something new. To lurk and stagnate in my comfort zone because it's familiar and safe will not help me grow as a person. Maybe, he's right in saying that growing up is not just for kids. As adults, we also have to grow and moving on is an integral part of growth.
I don't know, maybe all these apprehensions are groundless. Maybe, I'll get to love the new job too. I'm just filled with so much dread in venturing into the unknown. But then again, maybe my husband is right in saying that one won't know the pain and wonder of giving birth until one has experienced it firsthand.
Well, I guess I will just have to find and work out some comfort in another little corner of this bank that I've also developed an attachment to...

Goodbye! 'Til 2011!

My brother, Anthony, recently went back to the Philippines to fetch his whole family and move them to the United States. A lot has happened. Their expected 3 weeks of waiting turned out to be almost 2 months. It was definitely pure hassle but for my kids and their cousins, the extended time in the country was more of luck than anything else. All weekends of their remaining days here were filled with cousins, cousins and cousins.

You see, Ean and Cuatro are almost twin cousins. They were born just about 5 months apart. At that time, Anthony and his family still lived with us. The two boys grew up thinking they were brothers and have spent every possible moment together. Toni and Alex didn’t share the same privilege since Marj (my sis-in-law) and her two kids moved with her family when Anthony went back to the U.S. for good. But being copycats of their respective brothers, they too developed a closeness that exists between sisters.

But the waiting did end and the time to say goodbye came in a blink of an eye. We came to realize that indeed the closest people to our hearts are soon moving permanently to another part of the world. Their last night here was filled with hugs, kisses and tears, kids’ tears mostly. We definitely would miss them but it’s a move that we know they’ve been longing for…being together as a family finally…every day of every week…every week of every month…every month of every year...

It saddens me and my children because they are somewhat going to lose their twin cousins and best friends. However, all I’m thinking now are the benefits. You see, when their cousins are here, they tend to define friendship to be exclusive among the four of them. Now, I’d like to think that they will be able to develop new friendship with other boys and girls. This thought might not have sunk in them yet. There will definitely be a transition especially since Christmas is in the air already and the kids are so used to being together during this holiday season. Thanks to school, they are kept really busy to be missing their cousins too much. Thanks to the web, they get to keep in touch on their own through friendster and YM.

Now we’re counting down the days until 2011 so we can see the whole family we love so much!

I'll Love Your Forever!!!

It's very difficult to discern if I am being a success as a parent to my kids. Unfortunately, my less than twenty years of schooling missed out on one vital matter: nobody ever taught me how to be a parent. I have to make it up as I go along and trust me, it's just so hard.

It used to be easier when they were toddlers...teaching them the basics...They were a lot more submissive then. Giving them attention was all that matters. My kids are now 8 and 6 and I reckon my responsibility as a parent has grown as my kids have. I will have to discover that fine line between showing them that I still care enough and that at the same time I am now prepared to let them discover their freedom and basically leave them to work things out for themselves. Problem is, the small attention that I withdrew made them crave for more.

Nevertheless, I understand that my main duty as a parent is simply to be there, love them and appreciate them. I may not always be with them physically. It is close to impossible since I also work and have other responsibilities. So, I would call on them and ask them about their day and when I get home, I would study and play with them, tell them stories and just simply cuddle with them.

It is essential that I am also a friend and a buddy to them. But more than that, they and I must not forget that what I am is a PARENT. They may often complain and whine that I am constantly on their case and it surely makes me wonder and ponder if I am overdoing it. But I know in the long run, they will be grateful and wouldn't have had it any other way. And I know that they will be all the more successful for it.

The thing is, however hard the struggle is, I am trying the best that I can and knowing that my kids love me make it a bit more gratifying.

So, to Cuatro and Alex, as a popular line goes: "I'll love you forever...I'll like you for always...As long as I'm living, your mommy I will be..."

Iron Man - Our Superhero

While going shopping and having a kid in tow who’s "naglulupasay" when not bought something he really wanted has never been my problem. It saddens and frustrates me when I know my kids desire something really badly – toys, a pair of shoes, a nice dress, etc – and I can’t give it simply because buying such would put a big dent in the family budget.

Recently, my hubby introduced a "decree" to the kids. You see, we give our kids a daily allowance. We told them that they could spend their allowance any way they wanted but that was all they were going to get for the day. Daddy also told them that if they want to buy a toy which will not go well with our budget, they’ve got to save for it. He, however, compromised that if they can save at least half the price of the toy they want, Daddy will put together the other half.

This actually worked very nicely. My son, Cuatro, wanted an "Iron Man" character toy very very badly. It costs P699.95. That meant he had to save P350 at least for him to have the toy. I witnessed how he painstakingly saved all the money he got from us as allowance and how he would open his money bank every night to count how much money he’s got. I made out the glimmer in his eyes when he finally pulled off his goal and did his final count. All his forfeit was not left unrewarded as Daddy gave him the other P350.00 so he can buy the incredible "Iron Man" toy that taught my child the value of money-saving.

Me, My Daughter, Our Books

My life-long love affair with reading began with all those “Nancy Drew” mystery novels I avidly read when I was in grade school. By the time I reached the sixth grade, I seemed to have finished the entire Nancy Drew series. My passion for reading was fueled by a highschool classmate who seemed to share the same interest – Joyce Bautista, now a very dear friend. My mother, later on, would take me with her to the bookstore and let me pick out books to read. As an adolescent and now as an adult, I can still go sleepless nights finishing off a really page-turner book.

At the moment, my five-year old daughter, Alex, seemingly demonstrates the same love I have for reading. I can leave her sitting down in one corner of the bookstore poring over books while I go around looking for my stuff. At home, when not playing or studying, one can find her inside the bedroom going over her Kids Almanac or her “precious” collection of story books. I’m quite keyed up with the thought that sooner or later she will also be reading all the books I have spent so much of my time and savings on.

My Children’s Daddy (a belated father’s day salute to my children’s daddy)

Every kid thinks that he has the world’s greatest daddy. My children are no less any different. They think the world of their dad…in their eyes, he can’t do wrong. Truth is, human as he is, he has flaws and inadequacies. He, too, needs to be told time and again of some things that he may have overlooked, disregarded or overdone. Nonetheless, he incessantly struggles to live up to our kids’ idyllic image of him as their mentor, disciplinarian, playmate, friend, personal magician, clown, surrogate “mom”, “superhero” (?!). But one thing’s for sure, I know my children’s daddy will never stop loving them and caring for them. Whatever he is, at the end of the day, he will be just pure and simple DAD, ready to tuck them in bed…give them butterfly kisses…and overwhelming hugs…WE LOVE YOU DADDY! MWAH!

It's School Time Once Again!

It’s school time once again! On my kids’ first day of school, my little boy was feeling excited yet a little sad that summer was finally over. My little girl, on the other hand, was a bit jittery on her first day because of all the new things: new teachers, new friends, new school. And me? I was not at all “unaffected” by the opening of the new school year. In fact, I had mixed emotions when the school opened that Tuesday morning (June 10). The imminent opening of classes would mean another year-round of homeworks, projects, reviewers…and I would have to be once again at the helm of everything. I don’t deny that indeed every school year that passed became more and more difficult and I suppose that this year would not be any different. We will have to leave the house at 6:30 in the morning to bring the kids to school, go to the office to earn the money that would send them to school, reach home by seven in the evening and there my commitment as my kids’ “guru” begins. Don’t get me wrong, I really and truly enjoy every single moment spent sitting side by side reviewing them and studying with them…I melt along with every single grin they flash at me when I give them the “thumbs up” sign…I smile from ear-to-ear every single time they give me the right answers to my questions. In fact, the truth is, as much hurdles as I’ve had…come end of school year, I get rewarded time and again not just with good grades but another year of new lessons learned and discoveries made.